When I was certifying for my facilitator and coaching certificate, my biggest challenge was simply to smile. Other coaches and mentors were constantly telling me to smile more. They told me that if I was happy my face wouldn’t showing it. Months later I was again reminded of the importance of a smile through my training coach. She said it’s important to learn from your experience therefore what I am about to share is what I am hearing about you as a coach. “He is intense, does always seem to like his work, and rarely does he smile.” She asked me, do you think you are sending a message to your clients that being a coach is nothing more than a job for you? I did not feel that way NOT on the inside. Something as simple as not smiling was ruining my goal of having a positive impact on others. I worked on this simple behavior of the smile for months and slowly by smiling at my clients and others I felt a greater connection. A smile I learned makes people feel more relaxed.
Our behavior in front of others plays a huge part in conveying and reinforcing our message to those we speak to. Our first step is to understand how our behavior is being perceived by others. If we tell others they are winners and that we believe in them while we have a scowl on our faces and our arms are crossed, they won’t believe us. If we tell others that they are important and that we care about what they have to say, but repeatedly read or send text messages in front of them, look away, and seem distracted, they will be skeptical of our interest in them. Though it is nothing more than common sense to be in the moments with others showing signs that we are not we send the wrong message. Let’s make a conscious effort to smile. It’s one of our most powerful non-verbal skills 🙂